Really?

It's kinda weird how sometimes...things all of the sudden happen at the same time. Like a huge wave is just taking your feet elsewhere. All my life I thought I was up to "Par" and now I realize that you are just sub-par. That's the way it was supposed to be. I really want to come clean with Him, but it's like saying your name over and over and over and over again. I just kinda turns to "Moo"sh. So how do you do it? I know I have to start fresh. It must start now! So show me how if you are willing to help. Show me what it takes to be 100% for Christ. I know Paul was a messed up guy with messed up beliefs. Regeneration! That's what it's about!

That word scares me sometimes. Well, just in that fact that if you ask, "Am I regenerated?" then....are you? It's like finding out if your parents aren't REALLY your parents. Or your sister is really just someone that was really close to your family. It's hard to feel alone! I DON'T LIKE IT! Christ said, "you are not alone for I am with you always." That's kinda hard to grasp. Of course we all know that He was talking about you heart/spirit (dichotomy?). That way that we always know that your mom loves your or you'll always breath...unless God takes that from you. It's a safety blanket. A withered, dirty, drool filled rag that we cling to. The world's funny like that. (wow i am really starting to sound like Rob Bell) For that I apologize.

To say that to say this. Pray for me. Not in the way saying that I won't pray for myself, but just that I need help and self assurance from Christ not from anyone on earth. Is that weird or too elitist-ish? Carla tells me I should work it out with Him before anything else! And I know that's true. It's just hard to get in the habit of.

in-Truth,
Matt

You realize you've grown up!

So I realized that I've grown up. I don't know when it happened, but it did. It's like when you wait and wait and wait for your birthday or christmas and before you know it...it's here?! Weird! I have a wife. I have a house. I have a job. This is really not where I thought I would be now, but it worked out well. It's not that I am unhappy with life or even where I am. I love it. I'm just.....suprised. It's like when you want something for your birthday and you turn around and get something else. Your not unhappy with the present. It's just not what you thought it would be. WEIRD!

I love you Carla with all of my heart. I thank God that I am with you! Please stay close and I will be even closer!

Goodbye love!
Matt

Daze Like This!

Why is it that when you are young being older seems like ages away? Now that i am married and living on my own, it's crazy to think about how fast everything went. i think that when i look back it's just nothing but series of event. Long, exciting series of events.
My weeks always were just filled of looking for the next thing to look foward to. i think that everything that i was looking forward to is here and now. It's kind of a double edged sword. In one hand since i am here and now...then what next. Ah, then the other hand...i have my whole life to look forward to!

Kids...
Family...
Dogs...
Cats...
Love...
Wife...
LIFE!

i really can't wait to see what is going to happen.

That You God for Your many blessings. Keep it coming!

Happy Birthday Wife!

Today is my wife's birthday. Wow we've been together for over a year and married for almost two months. I think/know that God has a weird way of teaching us about stuff. We spend our entire lives waiting on this huge lecture session from God, like we are in class or something. I mean while we are in high school we want it to be more like college and when we get to college and get over our head we want it to be more like high school. Easier, right? So God created this mystical way of telling us about stuff. I love you! or You're mine and ok! I woke up to the sound of my wife in the shower today. Wow. He told me "You ARE mine and You Are ok! I guess this is the "Rob Bell" theory.



Carla:
I love you so much and you mean the world to me. I feel that I don't tell you enough and that's probably a good thing. You've been through everything with me and that's insane since we've only been together for a short time. I don't ever want to be away from you! I LOVE YOU! I hope you have an amazing day!

Love,

Matt

New HOuse.

So we are in our very own house. We've waited for at least 6 months on this house and we've finally got it. i love it so much. We slept there for the first night on Saturday night. That was the best sleep i've had in awhile!!! I love my wife and everything about my life right now. i wish i could be making alittle bit more money but then i guess i wouldn't be so dependent on God for everything. It's a "catch 22" i guess. So I wish i had more to say but... that's about it. So til later. See yah!

I am going to make a really good post soon of my house. We need pics and help moving....some...So if you know of anyone who want's to help. Saturday afternoon we are there! Thanks and stay tuned!

Ok....So the day is finally here. i have not been able to sleep well for about two weeks now. i am so excited to finally be in our house. We are offically getting the keys to it today when we close. i can't wait to start the rest of our lives together. The memories and dreams that we will have are so exciting to think about.

God is so good. It's really a testiment to see what He does for us in our lives. We decided a long time ago that we were going to live for God in our relationship and i think so far we have. i get to see everyday how much Carla loves me and how much God loves me thru her!

i want to do so much!

i don't know where to start!

*this pics for ryan!

Love, Later, Bye,

Matt